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  • Writer's pictureNamrata Gurung

Tonight, I might or might not lie

Recently, I checked off one of my bucket list wishes, that is, to perform at a poetry slam in New York. And so it was, the evening of 24th of June 2019, at Parkside Lounge, 317 E Houston St, New York, NY 10002. Of all the YouTube videos of spoken word poetry I had binge-watched for so many years, today, I finally had the chance to be completely immersed in it. And it turned out to be nothing less than I imagined. The energy, the people, the support, the impact performances, it was all as I had dreamt and even more. Below, is the poem I chose to perform, it’s something close to my beating heart passing through moments of life:

Tonight, I might or might not lie.

Envision

If there was a lie I could tell, It would be that blue skies, bright sun, calm cool breeze of peace lasts forever.

If there was a lie I could tell, It would be that not a single drop of tear shall ever bear the weight of lost hope.

If there was a lie I could tell, It would be that you shall sail smoothly across rapidless oceans, withholding not single wail of unshakable grief.

If there was a lie I could tell, It would be that you won’t ever recall what hurt your soul and broke you thereafter.

Lies, I could tell you all night. Lies, glimmered in fantasy sparkles, that might give you bricks of air to build your air castles; Air castles of security, belief, grounding because everything else seems too shaky, too flimsy, too unreliable.

Because the truth is, air castles fall apart. Because the truth is, you will fall. Because the truth is, the fall will be unending like falling into a darkness no return. Because the truth is, hurt will be a commonplace and unknowingly, continue to form deeper and deeper cracks of fading faith. Because the truth is, there will come a time when you can’t recognize the person behind the mirror anymore.

In these moments of truth, Don’t hide, don’t fret, don’t run away, don’t move. Stand your ground and embrace the pain, the confusion, the lostness.

Because the truth is, In this masquerade ball of everyday living, we soon become the masks we fake, until we question before our death bed requestions our existence.

Because the truth is, For every tiny hurt, every tiny step faltered, there will be a learning you wouldn’t have otherwise known.

Because the truth is, Everything and anything that breaks you, will also enshrine you with a strength you wouldn’t have otherwise known.

Because the truth is, If you’ve felt the lows, it by default implies that you feel the highs.

Because the truth is, Darkness only confirms brightness exists.

Because the truth is, The lenses of our inward reflection remains a choice we choose to make every passing second of our breath.

Because the truth is, We are the sculptors of this mold of life, a masterpiece in creation, and every single stroke of experience is just another color, another texture, another addition of imperfect perfection.

Truth: You, Are all, you will ever know.

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